


Baby Blues

by PrettyCalypso



Series: The Chronicles of Ian & Kira [8]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: AU, Daddy Ian, Daddy Mickey, Explicit Sexual Content, Family Fluff, M/M, Mentions of stillborn babies, Pregnancy, Pregnancy complications, Surrogacy, baby talk, cuteness as usual, mentions of Terry Milkovich and everything horrible that comes with him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-25
Updated: 2016-06-13
Packaged: 2018-06-10 16:38:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6964723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrettyCalypso/pseuds/PrettyCalypso
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ian and Mickey talk baby.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The bunny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I'm actually a supporter of Debbie's motherhood choice in season 6 (for many reasons, but it's not the point here), and I'm usually not one for denying canon, but in this fic it made more sense if she didn't have a kid at 15 and Ian was the one teenage parent. So I figure that if Debbie had waited, it could have taken her a while to have her first kid because I totally see her finishing long studies first. But that's only my POV and my choice in this fic.

 

Ian had five nieces and nephews, plus one in the making, and Kev and V's twins. He had been the first one of the Gallagher siblings to have a child, which was highly unexpected considering his sexuality, but it was the South Side, nobody really questioned it. And now Debbie was having a kid of her own. She was the last sibling to experience parenthood – well minus Liam, but he was still young – and Ian couldn't be happier for her. Okay, scratch that. He could have been a tiny bit happier if he was also about to have another kid of his own. But that, that didn't seem to be happening anytime soon. The two men hadn't talked about it a lot, but every time the redhead tried to bring the subject, Mickey was just waving him away. True, Ian hadn't insisted too much, he didn't want Mickey to resent him for this, but he was starting to get sick of it.

 

“What about the bunny? That's cute, right?”

 

Ian detached his eyes from the adorably cute onesies he had been staring at to look at the stuffed animal his husband was showing him.

 

“Yes, the bunny is cute.”

 

“Okay so the bunny is cute, the bear is cute, even the wolf is cute! Where do we go from there? We can't buy everything, the kid's gonna choke with all these toys around him!”

 

Ian sighed loudly, and made a move to get out of this hellish store.

 

“Choose whatever you want, it's just a stupid gift for a baby who won't know he has it.”

 

Mickey put the bunny back down with a little too much violence.

 

“Okay, what the hell is wrong with you? Last time we did this, you were so excited you bought so much shit Carl and Dominique almost had to build a second nursery! Today you won't even look at the stupid bears and bunnies!”

 

“Well maybe I don't want to do this anymore!”

 

“Do what exactly? Buy gifts for your siblings' kids? Because I'm pretty sure we're not talking about that anymore!”

 

Ian was very aware they were almost screaming, and that all the other costumers were looking at them disapprovingly, but he didn't care, at all.

 

“I don't want to keep pretending I'm okay with celebrating other people having babies when all I really want is having one of my own! I know you said you didn't want another kid, and I said I was okay with that, but I'm not! I want another child, and I'm even starting to consider doing it on my own, which is terrible because part of the reason I want that kid is to do it with you! I can't do this without you, but I also can't... not do this!”

 

The redhead didn't even let the time for his husband to answer, before he stormed out of the store. He left the car in its parking spot – he didn't have the keys anyway – and kept walking with no real destination in mind. After about an hour of mindless wandering in the streets of Chicago, and the temperature dropping a few too many degrees, Ian came back home. The house was silent, and empty, with just a stream of light and faint music coming from under Kira's bedroom door. The redhead went directly to his room and laid on the bed. Mickey wasn't back. It was... weird. Soon, Ian started to worry he had scared his husband off. So he sent him a text. Two texts. Three. And he called him. Mickey wasn't answering, Mickey wasn't coming back. Panic was settling in Ian's head, and chest.

 

********

 

Mickey exited the baby store under the scrutiny of the other costumers. He resisted the urge to give them all the finger, and resisted the even stronger urge to run after his husband. But he knew Ian wouldn't talk to him right now. Mickey hadn't realized the redhead was so set on the idea of having a baby, he had mentioned it a few times, but not enough for Mickey to take it seriously. The idea of having a child with Ian wasn't scaring Mickey, he wasn't even that opposed to it, but there was something... something in his chest closing every time he imagined it.

 

He ended up sitting in the car, still parked in its spot, and he wasn't sure where he was supposed to go. He wanted to go home, to his husband, but there was somewhere else calling for him, something he needed to do first. So he drove to a neighborhood he hadn't been in in a long time. He rode along the street three times, before finally stopping in front of the brown house. It looked abandoned, it seemed that nobody had been living here for a long time, the walls were tagged, the door half hanging on its hinges, and almost all of the windows were broken. Mickey didn't get out of the car, he just stayed there, looking at the house he grew up in for a long time. He didn't know what he was waiting for, if it was for divine inspiration, or for his car's batteries to die, but, suddenly, after about an hour of staring, he realized he had already found what he was looking for. His chest didn't hurt like it used to every time he thought about his childhood, he didn't want to cry, or to scream, or to hurt someone. The thing blocking him was all in his head now, in a little corner of his mind that didn't even matter anymore. And so Mickey laughed, laughed harder that he had ever laughed. He was free, a hundred percent free from his father's grip, and maybe he had been for years, but he hadn't realized it until now. It felt so good.

 

Once his laughter calmed down, the man started the engine, and made one last quick stop before driving home to his husband.

 

********

 

Ian was already imagining receiving divorce papers from a far away country – or state – when he heard the front door open, somebody walking to their bedroom, and papers being dropped on the bed next to his feet. The redhead shot a look at his husband still standing by the door, and grabbed the file and different flyers lying on the cotton sheets.

 

“What is this?”

 

“I swung by the adoption agency in the way home.”

 

Ian looked at the pictures of ethnically diverse babies for a few seconds, then looked back at his husband.

 

“Mick, you don't have to...”

 

Mickey sighed and ran a hand over his face.

 

“Look, when Svetlana told me she was pregnant, I wanted her to have an abortion. But she didn't. And now I have Yevgeny and I love him more than I can even understand. And when I met you you already had Kira, so I ended up kinda stuck with two kids to raise. But I've never regretted it – except maybe when they're insufferable, or when they wake me up way too early. I never had a choice, I never chose to have kids, and I'm not sure I know how to do this, or even if I'm capable of doing it. When I pictured you and me going through adoption papers together, or however you want to do this, I always saw my dad looking at us with disgust in his eyes and a baseball bat in his hand. I know we've been together for almost eight years, we live together, and we even got married, but some stuff were still hard...”

 

Ian reached to grab his husband's hand.

 

“Mick, I didn't even... I never thought about that. I'm sorry.”

 

Mickey smiled shyly and finally went to sit next to Ian on the bed.

 

“It's okay. I... I drove around and figured a few things out. I guess I needed you to shake me a little.”

 

Ian chuckled, and Mickey squeezed his hand.

 

“I know how much you want this kid Ian, I get it, and I know that my opposition to the idea is not as great as your desire, and that down the road I'll eventually say yes.”

 

The redhead raised his head to meet his husband's eyes and Mickey smiled, before taking a deep breath.

 

“So,” he said with the slightest hint of nervousness in his voice. “Let's just cut the bullshit right now, because I hate seeing you so miserable, and let's have a freaking baby together.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a lot of trouble trying to explain Mickey's struggle here, and even more trouble trying to resolve it, so I really hope it works and the conclusion doesn't seem too rush.


	2. Sisters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Random piece of information: I made a family tree with all the Gallagher siblings, their spouses and their kids for this fic. It was quite a fun thing to do.
> 
> Also, big news! A lot of you have been asking about Mandy and Svetlana's situation since I mentioned it in the New Year's fic. Well, faithful readers, you'll have your answer in this chapter! Sort of... ;)

 

A newborn with red hair was probably the weirdest thing Mickey had ever seen, and he had grown up in the ghetto. He looked at this tiny baby girl, barely able to open her eyes, rocked slowly by Ian's strong arms... Okay, maybe she was kind of cute. Ian caught his husband's stare.

 

“You want to hold her?”

 

Mickey took a step away from the chair his husband was sitting on.

 

“No, I'm good.”

 

“Come on Mick.” Ian smiled. “She's not gonna bite.”

 

“She's very sweet, I promise.” Debbie chipped in from where she was sitting on her hospital bed.

 

Mickey looked at the young mother, and back at the minuscule baby.

 

“Okay, I'll try...”

 

Ian stood up from the chair to let his husband take his place.

 

“Okay, take her carefully. Hold her head.”

 

“It's not the first time I hold a baby, you know.”

 

“Yeah, but last time was a while ago. You must be rusty.”

 

Mickey's hands being quite busy at the moment, he wasn't able to flip his husband off, but god knows he wanted to. Stupid annoying redhead.

 

“Hey!” Kira's cheerful voice entered the room. “How is my little cousin?”

 

The teenage girl dropped her sports bag next to the door and came closer to Mickey.

 

“Oh my god Madelyn, you're so pretty!”

 

The teenager touched her cousin's tiny hand with the tip of her fingers.

 

“I want one...” she muttered with a lovesick smile.

 

“Oh hell no!” Ian almost shouted. “You'll wait until you're at least 25 before making me a grand-father!”

 

Kira laughed and winked at Mickey, before turning to face her father.

 

“Don't worry dad, I'm not ready to be a mom just yet.”

 

The redhead put his hands on his daughter's shoulders and dropped a quick kiss on top of her head.

 

“Good. Because I'm not ready to be a grandpa.”

 

********

 

The room had cleared pretty quickly after that, a nurse coming to take the baby for a quick check-up and Kira leaving to babysit some of her nephews at Fiona's house, it left only Debbie with her brother and her brother-in-law.

 

“I wanted to talk to you both.” the woman started. “I know it's early, but Porter and I have already started to make plans for Madelyn, and, Ian, I want you to be her godfather.”

 

Ian smiled at his sister and exchanged a look with his husband.

 

“If you're okay with it Mickey of course,” Debbie added quickly before her brother could give an answer. “Because it would mean that if anything happens to us you'll both have to take care of her... And I know you already have two kids, but I want my daughter to grow up in a happy home. And you two are the first ones that come to mind. Although Porter does also want his sister to be godmother, but you'll be first in line Ian.”

 

The redhead grabbed his sister's hands in an effort to make her stop rambling.

 

“I'll be honored Debs. And I already know Mickey's gonna spoil this new little niece of his, even if he doesn't want to admit it.”

 

The new mother smiled widely, relieved.

 

“Thank you. I didn't want to impose this burden on you, you already have a full house, and you're almost done raising your kids so...”

 

Ian exchanged another look with Mickey, raising an eyebrow. The black-haired man shrugged, so the redhead turned back to his sister.

 

“Actually – and you're the first one to know, so keep it for yourself for now – we've been talking about maybe expanding our family a little bit...”

 

“Like... having a dog?” Debbie asked, looking both surprised and confused.

 

Ian emitted a little laugh at the suggestion.

 

“No. Like having a baby...”

 

********

 

“Okay. First question first: where is it gonna sleep?”

 

Ian put down the pamphlet he had been reading and smiled.

 

“That's your first question Mick? Really?”

 

“We only have three bedrooms!” Mickey exclaimed, waving his hands around to really show the size of their house.

 

Ian tried not to laugh.

 

“We both grew up in small houses with a bunch of siblings, I think we'll manage. We'll put a crib in our room in the beginning, and when the kid'll be old enough they'll go in either Yev or Kira's room, depending on if it's a boy or a girl.”

 

“Okay. What about college? We don't have the money to pay for college for three kids.”

 

Ian shook his head.

 

“You really are a man full of surprises Milkovich...”

 

“Don't mock me! You know I care about our kids' education. I barely got my GED, I want better for them!”

 

“And they will.” the redhead answered calmly, patting his husband's hand with his own. “They're smart, they'll get scholarships. And if they don't we'll take three jobs each, and a shit tone of loans we'll never pay back. Everybody does it, it's not a big deal.”

 

“Okay, okay. But what about names?” Mickey asked again, still looking slightly panicked by the whole situation. “What will the kid's name be? We have Yevgeny Milkovich, and Kira Davis-Gallagher, it's gonna be a mess... Do we go for Milkovich-Gallagher or Gallagher-Milkovich?”

 

“Either way, I'm happy with both.” Ian shrugged.

 

“Yeah, but...”

 

“Mickey. Mickey.” Ian sighed. “The initial question you still haven't answered was: do you prefer adoption or surrogacy? We can figure out the rest later, but right now that's the decision we need to make.”

 

********

 

Mandy opened the door on the third knock to be met with her brother and his husband, both wearing almost devious grins.

 

“Hey guys.”

 

“Hey Mandy.” Ian exclaimed, looking way too cheerful. “Still crashing at Svetlana's?”

 

“Well the rent is cheap,” Mandy shrugged. “And we all know I need the money.”

 

And, indeed, a little over four years ago, Mandy had decided, after a few very intense talks with her ex-sister-in-law, to quit her job as a clerk in a travel agency to follow her true passion and start her own clothing line. It was the hardest decision she ever took in her life – probably until this very day ; she had had to leave her apartment and live on her tiny economies for years to try to launch a business that, unfortunately, wasn't really taking off. Thankfully, Svetlana had been very supportive and offered her Mickey's old room in the house, which had freaked the man out for a moment. Mandy had assured her brother nothing was going on between his ex-wife and her, but she herself wasn't sure if she was really telling the truth, and years later she still hadn't figure out how to really define their relationship. But that was not the main topic of the day, a happy redhead and a not-so-grumpy brunet had apparently something important to tell her.

 

The three of them sat on the couch, and Mandy, as a true grown-up, served tea. To which her brother made a face, so she took three beers out of the fridge, and replaced the elegant teacups with the cold bottles of cheap alcohol.

 

“So, what's up?” the woman asked while sitting down on the loveseat facing the couch.

 

Both men exchanged a look, and Ian was the one to talk.

 

“Well... How are you? In your life? How's your love life?”

 

“Uh... Complicated, I guess... Why?”

 

“Just wondering...”

 

And they exchanged another look. Mandy sighed.

 

“Okay, you're starting to freak me out. What's going on?”

 

Mickey drank a mouthful of beer before he finally entered the conversation.

 

“Were you serious when you said you never want kids?”

 

“Yes. And I still stand by that statement. Why?”

 

Mickey looked at his husband, and Ian looked back at Mandy.

 

“Weeell...”

 

“Spit it out Ginger!”

 

“Wewantyoureggs.”

 

“What?”

 

Mandy wasn't really sure she had understood this gibberish, but somehow she really hoped she was mistaken in what she thought Ian had said.

 

“Mickey and I... We... We've been talking about having another kid and... Well we think surrogacy is probably the best option and... With your eggs and my... you know, we'd have a baby that look like both of us...”

 

Mandy looked at her brother-in-law. And then at her brother. _Were they serious?_

 

“I'm gonna need something stronger than beer.”

 


	3. Mothers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's be honest, I don't think things could get more twisted than canon and Kev sleeping with Carol. But I tried my best to stay true to the Shameless way of conceiving babies.

 

Mandy came back from the kitchen with the strongest bottle of vodka Svetlana owned – and the woman was Russian, she knew her stuff.

 

“So let me get this straight: you want to mix Ian's DNA with my DNA to make a baby? Your baby?”

 

Both men nodded in sync.

 

“Ideally we would like to mix Ian's DNA with my DNA,” Mickey explained. “But it's not really possible, is it?”

 

“And your DNA is the closest from Mickey's we could find.” Ian added.

 

Mandy swallowed her first mouthful of alcohol.

 

“But why me? Why don't you mix Mickey with Debbie, or Fiona?”

 

“Because...” Ian started, but he was stopped by Mickey putting a hand on his knee.

 

“For different reasons, we want Ian to be the one directly related to the kid.”

 

“This is twisted...” Mandy sighed, drinking some more vodka. “And what would I be? Like the aunt-mommy?”

 

“Well actually... You'd be just the aunt.” Ian supplied. “And you wouldn't even have to carry the baby. Except if you want to, it'd be cheaper for us, but yeah, no, we were planning on using a surrogate.”

 

“Good, because I don't wanna be pregnant.” Mandy pointed out, waving her bottle around.

 

She took another sip, and an awkward silence settled. The two men were waiting for some kind of answer, and Mandy was just drinking. Until she took a deep breath and put her bottle down.

 

“I'll think about it.”

 

********

 

“It's called a gestational surrogate.” Ian read off his laptop from where he was sitting on the bed. “She needs to be at least 21 years old, has already given birth to one healthy baby, passed a psychological screening. And it's better for us, less expensive, if she already has her own health insurance that covers all the pre-natal costs.”

 

Mickey spit his mouthful of toothpaste in the sink.

 

“And how much it's gonna cost us?”

 

“Depends. It could go up to 120,000$.”

 

“Shit.”

 

“I know. But it's way less expensive if we don't go through a fertility clinic and find the woman ourselves. AND if the woman doesn't ask for _'living expenses'_ , or at least small ones, some can ask up to 4,000$ a month. That's crazy. It'd be easier if Mandy agrees to carry too.”

 

Mickey turned the lights off in their private bathroom and went to join his husband on the bed.

 

“Yeah well don't get your hopes up too fast, she hasn't even agreed to give us her eggs yet.”

 

Ian sighed.

 

“I know. I just really hope she does... But if she doesn't, we could still ask Debbie or Fiona.”

 

Mickey rubbed his husband's back.

 

“I know. But you wanted to be the father right? And you know I'd prefer that too.”

 

“Because you don't want to pass your bad genes?” Ian smirked.

 

“No, asshole. Because I know it would hurt you if none of our three kids were biologically related to you.”

 

“It's very selfish of me.” Ian breathed.

 

“Maybe. But I think you're entitled to be selfish, just for that.”

 

Ian smiled weakly at his husband. Yeah, maybe he was entitled to be that kind of selfish, but it didn't keep him from feeling immensely guilty toward Kira. Here he was, talking about a hypothetical future child who would share his DNA, while he already had the perfect daughter who, even if she had no biological relationship to him, was and would always be his baby girl.

 

********

 

Mandy called about two weeks after Ian and Mickey had visited her. She still refused to be the birth mother, but she did accept to donate her eggs, and therefore be the biological mother, but she did set some terms, the biggest one being that the child couldn't know her identity until he or she would be at least 16, and she reserved herself the right to change her mind about that and maybe never give her true identity to her niece or nephew – in that case the two men would just have to tell their kid their biological mother was an anonymous donor. Mickey tried to argue with her sister on that, but Ian didn't, and they both eventually agreed to the conditions set by Mandy. The hardest part now would be to find a surrogate mother. Ian read blogs upon blogs from parents who had lived this experience, and followed their advice, asking around, in churches and support group, checking newspapers, magazines, websites. They met with several women, from random girls they met online to colleagues and coworkers of them, of their siblings. The first candidate was a college student, a friend of Liam, who was barely 21 years old but never had been pregnant before, plus she looked like she was more interested in getting into Ian's pants, and immediately deflated when the two men assured her the procedure would be done medically and not 'the old fashion way'. The second candidate came from a church Ian had put flyers in, she was the right age, had already have several healthy children, was very nice, and she didn't ask for a lot of money, the perfect candidate, but she wasn't legally living in the US, and the redhead was afraid she could get sent back to Mexico with their baby in her belly. The third one asked for 20,000$, which would double the costs of the procedure for the fathers. A background check revealed the fourth one was addicted to marijuana. And so on and so forth.

 

Mickey closed the door behind an umpteenth unfit candidate, and Ian sighed loudly.

 

“We're never gonna find the perfect surrogate.”

 

Mickey kissed his cheek lightly.

 

“Aye, don't loose hope. We'll find her. Eventually.”

 

“We could go back to the Mexican lady.” the redhead suggested. “What are the chances of her getting deported in the next twelve months or so while she's been living in the US without issues for the past ten years?”

 

“Way ahead of you on that one.” Mickey sighed. “I checked her profile again, just in case, but her health insurance doesn't cover enough, it would cost us too much.”

 

“Fuuuck...”

 

“I know.”

 

Mickey opened one of the kitchen's cupboards and grabbed one of their good bottle of whiskey. They deserved it after these past couple of months of dead-end researches. He poured the liquid into two glasses and handed one to his husband.

 

“We can do this Ian. We'll get our baby, I promise.”

 

The redhead huffed.

 

“Except none of us are getting any younger, and, no offense, but Mandy's eggs aren't gonna stay fresh for long.”

 

“Don't let hear that!”

 

The two men laughed, and drank, relieving some of the pressure in comfortable silence.

 

“I'm sorry Mick.” Ian suddenly said, his eyes wet with tears. “I shouldn't have insisted for this baby. We're gonna ruin ourselves, our family is gonna be a mess with Mandy and her new aunt-mommy status, and it's nearly impossible to find someone to carry this damn baby! All of our energy is drained by that, we even missed Kira's last lacrosse game, and who knows what Yevgeny is up to these days?!”

 

“Hey, hey, hey.” Mickey muttered, setting his glass on the table and hugging his husband tightly. “It's gonna be okay. I don't regret making this decision, not for one second. And if this surrogacy thing doesn't work out, you know we can still adopt.”

 

Ian smiled in Mickey's shoulder, and inhaled his scent with a deep, slow breath. Yes, everything was going to be okay. The couple hugged for a few more minutes, bathing in each other presence, enjoying the silence full of unspoken words of love. They only broke off the embrace when they heard the door being opened, and Yevgeny walking in.

 

“Hey kiddo!” Mickey said with a warm smile, ruffling his son's hair, while the teenager took a step aside to avoid his father's hand.

 

“Stop touching me!” Yevgeny screamed, offended by such affection. “And mom wants to talk to you.”

 

With that, the boy nodded to Ian, and went to lock himself in his bedroom. Mickey walked the few steps separating the kitchen from the entrance and welcomed Svetlana in. For some reason the black-haired man couldn’t pinpoint, the woman looked pissed.

 

“Hey Svet. What's going on?”

 

“Why didn't you ask?”

 

Mickey raised an eyebrow.

 

“Ask what?”

 

“You asked Mandy, and Fiona, and Debbie, and Dominique, and Nina. You even asked people you don't know. Why didn't you ask me?”

 

Mickey shook his head.

 

“I'm still not sure what we're talking about here...”

 

“Surrogate mom!” Svetlana almost shouted. “Why not me?”

 

Ian was next to his husband in a flash.

 

“You want to be our surrogate?” the redhead asked.

 

“Wouldn't that be a bit weird?” Mickey added.

 

“No, Mandy being the mother is weird. I'm just renting my uterus like a youth hostel.”

 

“She has a point.” Ian nodded.

 

Mickey turned to his husband.

 

“You'd be okay with that?”

 

“Why not? Svetlana is healthy, we know her, she has a good health insurance, she won't fly off to god knows where with our kid, and she won't ask for money. Right?”

 

“Yes.” the woman agreed. “I just want to help. I don't mind being pregnant. And Yevgeny is old enough to understand I'm just the oven, so it's not weird.”

 

Mickey looked between his ex-wife and his husband. Fuck, this family was so twisted...

 

“Why the fuck not...”

 


	4. Week 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went on one of those websites where you can morph the faces of two people to see what their baby would look like, I tried with the faces of Ian and Mandy, and OH MY GOD this baby is so gorgeous!!!!!
> 
> Also I did so much research for this fic, it's not even funny! I'm pretty sure my Google history thinks I'm pregnant (yeah, I know, computers can't think, but whatever).

 

Svetlana took place comfortably on the reclining chair, Ian not leaving her side one second, even crowding her, not leaving any room for the doctor to move around.

 

“Sir, please, could you take a step aside?” the doctor asked with a smile.

 

Ian nodded vigorously and obeyed, his back collapsing against Mickey's chest.

 

“Sorry!” the redhead jumped, and Mickey grabbed his arm softly.

 

“It's okay, just stop fidgeting. You're not helping anyone here.”

 

“I'm gonna have to ask you to leave the room for a moment anyway.” the doctor said with another smile.

 

“What? Why?”

 

“The embryos are ready to be implanted and the procedure is a little invasive, so I usually prefer to be alone with the mother.”

 

Ian tried to argue, but Mickey dragged him outside.

 

“Come on, I don't especially want to have a close up with Svet's pussy right now.”

 

“Okay, just one second...”

 

Ian escaped his husband's grip and went to Svetlana's chair once again, reaching to grab the woman's hand in his.

 

“Please be... hospitable, because we only have one shot at this.”

 

“Don't worry. I'll be a good youth hostel and keep your baby safe and warm.”

 

Ian smiled and kissed her on the cheek.

 

“Thank you so much for doing this Lana.”

 

********

 

“Do you think it's still too early to buy a pregnancy test?”

 

Mickey sighed.

 

“It's been four hours. Of course it's too early!”

 

“But...”

 

“Stop fucking whining!” Mickey almost shouted. “The doctor said a home pregnancy test wouldn't show reliable results until at least a week! So could you please try to think about something else for the next few days?”

 

“I can't Mick! I can't! It's so stressful! Aren't you anxious to know?”

 

“Of course I am. But it's no use to stress now when all we have to do is wait.”

 

“You're right. Of course you're right.”

 

The redhead sat on the couch and opened the folder filled with his students' essays he needed to grade, allowing Mickey to breathe for some time. Unfortunately the break was short-lived as Ian's voice resonated through the living room once again.

 

“Are you hoping for a boy or a girl?”

 

“Oh come on!”

 

********

 

Fortunately for Mickey's patience toward his husband, Svetlana showed up at their house three days later with two positive pregnancy sticks, and the success of the implantation was confirmed during the following week by their doctor.

 

Week 8 was celebrated by the very first ultrasound. To which not only Ian and Mickey came, but also their kids, and Mandy, and Fiona, and Debbie with Maddie in her arms.

 

“Okay!” Dr Tanner exclaimed when she saw all those people in the room. “I want everybody out! Except for Daddy 1 and Daddy 2, as well as my patient, all the others can wait outside.”

 

The crowd executed, and Ian and Mickey were left alone with Svetlana and their doctor.

 

“Big family, huh?” the woman smiled. “I understand, I have four siblings myself and it's a real family gathering every time the smallest event happens.”

 

“Well it's not really a small event here!” Ian stated, over-excited. “It's the first time seeing our baby!”

 

The doctor laughed and set up the equipment, before spreading the gel on Svetlana's belly – which was just starting to show. She ran the probe on the freshly wet skin, and an image started to appear on the screen. Mickey grabbed Ian's hand firmly without detaching his eyes from the black and white pixels.

 

“So?” the redhead asked while squeezing his husband's hand.

 

“See, this... is your baby.” the doctor explained while showing a round volume moving around. “And this... is your other baby.”

 

And she showed another peanut-sized shape.

 

“Two babies?” Ian almost squealed.

 

“Yes, multiple pregnancies are very common with in vitro fertilization. We implant several embryos to be sure at least one of them stick, but it's not rare that two, or more, actually do.”

 

“Oh shit.” Mickey breathed. “Twins...”

 

********

 

“Twins?!” Mickey repeated for the eighth time. “How are we gonna do this? Two freaking babies!!!”

 

“Calm down.” Ian said while putting his hands gently on his husband's shoulders. “We can do this. Kira and Yev are old enough, they can mostly raise themselves at this point, and even help us with the babies.”

 

“But... the money... It's twice the cost of diapers and milk and clothes... And college...”

 

“Mickey, Mickey, look at me.”

 

The black-haired man raised his head to meet his husband's serene green stare.

 

“Breathe. Breathe.”

 

Mickey did as he was told, and he already felt calmer.

 

“We can do this Mick. We can do this. We just need to be prepared.”

 

********

 

And, indeed, the next few weeks were spent doing maths, calculating their new cost of living, figuring out how to save money, deciding whether or not they could cut back on take-out food, if they needed so much Internet Data in their phone plans, or a subscription to HBO and Showtime, asking around for old baby clothes, making living arrangements to accommodate four kids in a three-bedroom house etc. etc. And soon, it was time for the 'Week 18 Anatomy Scan' where they would most likely be able to find out the gender of the babies. This time, only Kira and Yevgeny were waiting impatiently in the hallway of the clinic.

 

“Alright my favorite parental team,” the ultrasound technician said happily when coming into the room. “How everything's going?”

 

“Good.” Svetlana nodded. “I feel fine, and healthy. And the babies are finally moving.”

 

“Oh, that's always exciting.” the technician smiled.

 

“Very.” Ian added, holding both Svetlana and Mickey's hands. “Can we request a lot of pictures?”

 

The technician nodded, and started the scan, running once again the probe on Svetlana's gelled skin.

 

“Okay, so both babies are still here. No sign of VTS, that's good.”

 

“VTS?” Mickey asked.

 

“Vanishing Twin Syndrome, it's when one of the twin absorb the other. It happens more often than we think, but it's usually more common in case of identical twins, and here it looks like fraternal twins...”

 

The technician frowned, becoming suddenly very silent, and Ian clutched at the two hands he was holding.

 

“Everything okay?” he asked.

 

“The doctor will go over all the results with you.” the technician simply said.

 

“So that's not a yes?” Ian asked again.

 

“Do you see something wrong?” Mickey added.

 

“I'm just taking pictures, I'm not qualified to read the results.”

 

The two men exchanged a worried look.

 

“Yeah, but you see a lot of these,” Svetlana chipped in. “So does everything look normal?”

 

“I'm really not able to say.”

 

Mickey was starting to get agitated.

 

“If everything was fine, you'd say _'everything is fine'_ so everything is obviously not fine.”

 

“I'm sorry, only Doctor Tanner can actually read the results.”

 

Ian rubbed his thumb smoothly across his husband's fingers.

 

“How about you go get Doctor Tanner then?” the redhead requested, as calmly as he could.

 

The technician nodded and exited the room quickly. Mickey met Ian's eyes, and they both took a deep breath under the soft scrutiny of Svetlana.

 

“I'm sorry about that.” Dr Tanner said as she entered the room barely a minute later.

 

She took the technician's place in front of the screen of the ultrasound, looked at it for some time, explored Svetlana's uterus with the probe, and finally pointed at an intense white light on the image.

 

“See this bright spot on the baby's heart? It's called an echogenic focus. I know it probably sounds scary, but let me be clear: by itself it has no effect on the baby's health or the heart.”

 

“So what's the problem then?” Ian asked, still not fully relieved.

 

“At the moment there is no problem. But an echogenic focus can be a possible mark for chromosome abnormality in the fetus. It can also be nothing, a normal variant.”

 

“And you can't tell whether it's nothing or something?”

 

“Not from an ultrasound, no.”

 

“How do we find out then?”

 

“We can do an amniocentesis. It's a relatively common procedure where we remove and test fetal cells. After the procedure our brave mother will be put on bed rest for 48 hours, and after the risk is passed everybody can go back to their life.”

 

“What's the risk?”

 

“Miscarriage. Statistically it occurs in about one in three hundred, but the risk is slightly heavier with a multiple pregnancy. Take some time. Discuss it and let me know what you wanna do.”

 

********

 

After the appointment, Svetlana decided to take Kira and Yevgeny back at her place, leaving the two men alone for the night so that they could discuss their options. She, herself, was ready for anything, as long as the babies were healthy, if the fathers wanted her to do the amniocentesis, she would do it, no second thoughts.

 

“Miscarriage Mick. It's heavy.” Ian sighed.

 

“I know, but you were the one talking about planning. If we're gonna have a baby with Down Syndrome, we need to know in advance, don't you think?”

 

“Yes, yes we do.” the redhead agreed. “I just don't want to loose them...”

 

“I don't want that either.”

 

Ian suddenly started to laugh, out of the blue, a nervous laugh, but with something real in it.

 

“What is it?” Mickey asked, keeping himself from laughing along with his husband's contagious laughter.

 

“I just realized we don't even know the sex of the babies. We went in for that but we still don't know anything!”

 

Mickey looked in awe at his husband clutching his sides, still laughing wildly, releasing the tension, and the black-haired man let a few chuckles escaped his mouth too. After about three minutes of intensive giggling, Ian finally stopped and wiped the tears at the corner of his eyes, before leaning against his husband's shoulder.

 

“What are we gonna do Mick?”

 

“I say we go for the amniocentesis. One miscarriage out of three hundred procedures, right? Those are pretty okay odds, and you know as well as me that we need to know.”

 

“Yeah.” Ian murmured. “We need to know.”

 

********

 

After two days of Svetlana lying in her bed, and Ian buzzing around her, making sure she had everything she needed, cooking for her, rubbing her feet, checking the babies were still moving every other minute, and being overall very annoying for the woman, they had the all clear: no miscarriage.

 

And after two weeks of stress for the two fathers, as well as for Kira and Yevgeny, and a surprisingly calm Svetlana, they met with Dr Tanner again for the results of the amniocentesis.

 

“Your baby is perfectly healthy, the echogenic focus was nothing to worry about.” the woman announced.

 

Both men breathed in unison.

 

“I do have a little concern though,” the doctor added, and both men held their breath again. “Because the other baby doesn't seem to develop quite as fast as the first one.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for all this, and I'm also sorry that I'm not done yet...
> 
> Also, if someone speaks fluent - or good enough - Russian here I might need help for some stuff in the next chapters. Please contact me if you're available to help me write in Russian! Thanks :)


	5. Week 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I'm sorry.
> 
> Also, I assumed Svetlana kept Mickey's last name even after the divorce, I know some women do that because it's easier with their child, and it was making things simpler for me. And if the Russian is bad, I'm sorry, it's Google Translate, and I would accept any correction on that.

 

Ian laid the two little onesies on his bed. One blue and one pink, because apparently he had decided to go cliché.

 

“ _Is it bad?”_

 

“ _Nothing frightening for now.”_

 

Nothing frightening for now. Nothing frightening. For now. _For now._ The words had been resonating in his mind over and over again since their appointment with the doctor, almost two weeks ago now. She had said it wasn't unusual for a twin to develop faster than the other one, but they still had to keep an eye on things, just in case. _Just in case._ “Of what exactly?” Mickey had asked with his best worried and yet still scary tone. But the doctor hadn't been impressed, and had stayed evasive.

 

Ian grabbed the blue onesie and hold it against his heart.

 

“Hang in there little guy. Be strong.”

 

He was very aware he was talking to a piece of clothing, but those were the words he repeated to Svetlana's belly every time he met with her. And right now he needed to say them, even though the woman was in her own house, a few miles away from him, so a piece of clothing would have to do.

 

The front door slammed shut. Mickey was home. The black-haired man had been incredibly calm these past couple of weeks. Too calm. He wasn't talking much, even less than usual, and he especially avoided talking about the babies. Ian knew his husband was scared shitless, probably even more than he was, but Mickey was good at pretending. The redhead took the other onesie from the bed and walked into the main room of the house.

 

“Hey Mick.” he said with a smile, pecking his husband lightly on the lips.

 

“Hi.” Mickey nodded, already opening his nightly bottle of beer.

 

“Look what I bought.” Ian declared while showing the items he was holding.

 

“Pink and blue, huh?” Mickey snickered. “You couldn't go any more cliché?”

 

“Come on, Mick. You know we'll have a lot of other colors, it was just for the gesture. It's symbolic.”

 

Mickey nodded again, and swallowed a few mouthfuls of beer.

 

“Yeah okay, cool.” he finally said, walking toward the couch.

 

“Mickey...” Ian sighed, dropping the onesies on the kitchen table, and joining his husband in the living room. “We need to talk about this.”

 

“About what?” the black-haired man asked, already sitting comfortably between the cushions and starting to flick through the channels.

 

Ian took the controller out of his hand and turned the TV off.

 

“Fuck you, I was watching that!”

 

“No you weren't. You were avoiding talking to me.”

 

Ian sat on the coffee table, facing his husband.

 

“Mick, I know you're scared, I am too. But I think we'll both be able to handle this shitty situation better if we share our fears.”

 

Mickey stayed silent, staring at a spot slightly above Ian's shoulder. The redhead ran his hand on his husband's thigh.

 

“Mickey, please. Talk to me.”

 

The black-haired man kept staring.

 

“Okay.” Ian sighed. “I'll talk. I am terrified. We are going to have twins, and that in itself is scary, but not as much as the idea of loosing one of them. At first we thought we were going to loose Juliet, but now it's Romeo who's failing on us, and we have no way to know if things are going to be okay. All we can do is wait, and it's killing me. I just hoped my husband would be there so we can hold hands and pray together.”

 

Mickey hinted a smile, and finally met Ian's eyes.

 

“Pray? And Romeo & Juliet? Seriously?”

 

The redhead shrugged, his lips twitching.

 

“Couldn't come up with anything better on the spot.”

 

Mickey leaned in to kiss Ian softly on the lips.

 

“You're lucky I love you, dork.”

 

Ian fully smiled, but his eyes were still serious, and set on Mickey. The black-haired man sighed. He knew it was his turn. He rested his head on the back of the couch and ran his hand over his face. He took a shaky breath, and Ian saw a tear rolling on his cheek.

 

“I wasn't even thinking about having another kid before you brought it up.” Mickey said, his voice trembling. “But now I somehow love two fetuses more than I ever thought I could love human beings that aren't even real human beings and that I never actually met. And the idea of loosing one of them is killing me.”

 

Mickey took another shaky breath and met his husband's eyes again.

 

“I'm dying inside Ian. It's like my heart is breaking a little more every day imagining what could happen to our future son. And our baby girl, what if... what if her brother... if her brother died?”

 

Mickey didn't hold back his tears on the last word, and Ian brought his husband's body against his, hugging him tightly. Mickey let himself being held for a moment, before he wrapped his own arms around Ian, and both men stayed in this position for several minutes, both of them crying while trying to comfort the other. Ian was the first one to pull away, and he caressed Mickey's cheek delicately with the back of his hand. The black-haired man reached it and laced their fingers together.

 

“It's gonna be okay, Mick.” Ian promised. “As long as we're together, we can handle everything. Even the worst shit, and even if it takes us a long time to recover.”

 

Mickey laughed lightly through the remaining of his tears.

 

“You're such a sap...”

 

********

 

Ian and Mickey had the house to themselves on a cloudy Saturday afternoon. It wasn't rare these days, the tension the two men were radiating was affecting their family and driving their kids away. Kira spent more time at the library, or practicing Lacrosse, or just hanging out with her friends, and Yevgeny traded a lot of his 'dad week-ends' to look after his mother. Svetlana kept saying she was feeling fine, but the teen always used her as an excuse to avoid being alone with Ian and Mickey. However, as the weeks passed, the two men were starting to relax. The due date was still several weeks away, but reaching the end of the second trimester meant more chances for the babies to survive, especially in case of premature birth.

 

Ian kissed his husband lightly on the lips as he sat next to him on the couch. Mickey didn't react, being too engrossed in his magazine. The redhead leaned in again and kissed his husband with more purpose. This time, Mickey raised his eyes from the page he had been reading, and pressed into the kiss, caressing Ian's cheek with his hand softly.

 

“What was that for?” the black-haired man asked when he pulled away a few seconds later.

 

Ian sighed.

 

“Do you know how long it has been since we last had sex?”

 

“Seriously?” Mickey laughed while raising an eyebrow.

 

But Ian was, indeed, very serious, and he didn't not seem to find that remotely funny. He looked at Mickey straight in the eyes, waiting for an answer. The black-haired man tried to remember but came up empty handed.

 

“Shit... That long?”

 

Ian nodded with a _'I know right?'_ face on. Mickey threw his magazine on the coffee table, and raised to his feet.

 

“So what are we waiting for then?”

 

Ian laughed and took the hand his husband was presenting him, standing up to meet Mickey in a passionate kiss. The black-haired man moaned, and pushed the redhead toward the bedroom without detaching their lips. They crashed against the already half opened door, sending it smashing against the wall, while Mickey was fumbling with Ian's belt.

 

“Off!” he demanded, pulling on both his husband's jeans and boxers.

 

Ian gave Mickey's pants the same treatment, and they stumbled through the room until they collapsed on the bed. They waggled out of their respective shirts, and Mickey hissed when Ian's teeth met his neck. In return, Mickey pressed their pelvises together, and the redhead squeezed his husband's ass.

 

“I've missed you.” Ian mumbled in the crook of Mickey's neck.

 

Mickey moaned in response, and reached over the bedside table, opening the first drawer to grab the lube. He slicked his fingers while Ian was busy sucking a hickey on his chest, and got a hold of his husband's cock, stroking it a few times. Ian groaned, and kissed Mickey's skin around the bruise that had just formed, before taking the lube himself and pouring some on his fingers. He pressed the first digit against Mickey's hole, and the black-haired man tightened his grip on Ian's dick while his husband fingered him open.

 

“Shit. It has been long...”

 

Ian added a second finger, and Mickey threw his head back when the redhead hit the right spot. He finally let go of his husband's hard member to tangle his hands in his hair and bring their faces together for a heated kiss.

 

“I'm good.” he mumbled against their lips. “I need you in me.”

 

Ian didn't miss a beat as he pulled his fingers out, coated his dick with some more lube, and lined up with Mickey's hole before slamming in without hesitation. Mickey’s back arched off of the mattress and a strangled moan escaped his throat.

 

“Fuuuck...” he groaned loudly, twisting his hands in the sheets.

 

Ian grinned, and pulled out before slamming back in. The same strangled noise escaped Mickey’s lips and he clenched his ass, making Ian moan with him. The redhead fucked his husband harder, deeper, pounding into him, feeling sweat drip down his back. Mickey's arms wrapped around Ian's body, bringing them closer together, and the redhead buried his face in the brunet's neck, breathing heavily against his skin.

 

 _(I'm having a baby)  
__Ooh, I'm so happy  
(I'm having a baby)  
And I'm so glad to be that baby's daddy  
(I'm having a baby)  
A little girl, a little boy, a little you, a little me  
__(I'm having a baby)_  
Girl it doesn't matter, as long as its healthy

 

The sound was rising from somewhere in the room, making both men stop what they were doing. They stayed quiet and motionless, listening to the song getting louder and louder, while still being muffled by some type of fabric.

 

“The fuck is that?” Mickey breathed.

 

Ian finally detached his lips from his husband's neck and pulled out of his ass, stumbling to his feet.

 

“Fuck.” he muttered, looking for something amongst their clothes scattered on the ground. “It's Svetlana. I changed her ring tone so I can know in advance it's her and answer no matter what.”

 

The phone stopped ringing just as the redhead finally found it. And not even a second later, Mickey's own device, lying on the bedside table, started to ring with the exact same stupid song.

 

“I did the same with your phone.” the redhead explained to his husband's interrogating eyes.

 

Mickey shook his head with a _'I don't know why I love this idiot'_ expression, and picked up his phone.

 

“Hello? … Yev… Yevgeny calm down. Speak slower, what's happening? … What? Okay, we're leaving now.”

 

Mickey ended the call and stayed still for a few seconds too long.

 

“Mick? What's going on?” Ian asked, worried, and also already half dressed.

 

The black-haired suddenly shook out of it and started to pull his own clothes on.

 

“Svetlana is loosing blood.” he explained in a hurried but broken voice. “It doesn't look good. Yev is taking her to the ER.”

 

“Shit!”

 

********

 

The two men ran through the hallways of the hospital under the disapproving looks of the nurses, until they reached the room Svetlana had been put in. There were four beds in it, and only two were taken. The curtains around Svetlana's were halfway closed, and Yevgeny was sitting in a plastic chair, holding his mother's hand. The woman looked miserable, and both men's hearts were pounding from both the exercise and the gut-wrenching fear.

 

“What's going on?” Ian managed to enunciate between two deep breaths.

 

Svetlana shook her head just as a doctor entered the room, followed by a technician pushing an ultrasound machine mounted on wheels.

 

“Mrs Milkovich?” the doctor asked, reading off the file he was holding.

 

Svetlana nodded, and the technician closed the curtains fully before starting to prep the mother for the ultrasound.

 

“You reported an unusual loss of blood.” the doctor continued. “And you are twenty-six weeks pregnant with twins, is that correct?”

 

The woman nodded again, and the doctor turned to face Ian and Mickey.

 

“Which one of you is the father?”

 

“We both are.” Ian rushed to say, gripping at Mickey's hand. “Svetlana is our gestational surrogate.”

 

The doctor smiled at Ian's textbook way of reciting the title, and made a hand movement for the technician to start the ultrasound.

 

“Yev.” Mickey suddenly said, as if he was just remembering his son's presence in the room. “Could go wait in the lobby?”

 

“But, why?” the teenager protested.

 

His mother touched his arm lightly.

 

“Пожалуйста, детка, подожди в коридоре.” she said softly.

 

The teenager sighed dramatically, but eventually exited the room. Once he was gone, the silence settled. The doctor observed the screen, before taking the probe from the technician and exploring Svetlana's uterus himself. Finally, he sighed, gave the probe back to the technician, and turned to the expecting parents.

 

“Unfortunately, as I feared when Mrs Milkovich check in, one of the fetuses did not survive.”

 

Ian let out a shaky breath, and Mickey sat loudly on the chair Yevgeny had left.

 

“I am very sorry,” the doctor added. “It does happen sometimes, death in utero is always a risk, especially with twins, and this particular fetus appears smaller and way less developed than its sibling, it had very few chances to survive even once out of the womb.”

 

“He.” Ian said without realizing it. “It's the boy, right?”

 

The doctor nodded.

 

“Yes, the boy, did not survive. Now, the two fetuses are not identical, which means they are not in the same egg. So your girl seems fine, and the condition of her brother will, most likely, not affect her in any way. We can't, however, remove the boy without causing premature birth, which, at seven months along, is not recommended. We are going to run a few tests to check if both the mother and the remaining baby are healthy, and if everything is as good as I believed it is, we are going to try to carry this pregnancy to term. But this pregnancy, which was previously considered _'at risk'_ is now _'at high risk'_ so the mother will need to be put on bed rest for the remaining weeks before the due date, and carefully monitored. I take it you already have a doctor following this pregnancy?”

 

The question took some time to get through the two men as they were also trying to comprehend everything that had been said to them.

 

“Yes.” Svetlana finally said when she understood the fathers wouldn't answer. “Doctor Elizabeth Tanner, from a clinic on Cermak.”

 

“Alright. I will contact her once we get the results, and go over the details with her. And also make sure you'll have an appointment with her soon.”

 

Svetlana nodded.

 

“I'm sending you a nurse for the tests as soon as possible.”the doctor added before walking out of the room, still followed by the technician.

 

Once the curtains were closed again behind them, Ian collapsed on the chair the technician had brought with her. Mickey still hadn't said a word, he was looking straight ahead, like cursed to immobility by an evil witch. Ian let a few tears escaped his eyes and grabbed the hand Svetlana was offering him.

 

“I'm sorry.” the woman whispered.

 

“It's not your fault.” Ian reassured her, his voice cracked by the emotion.

 

He squeezed her hand a little tighter, and tried to reach for Mickey's as well, but the black-haired man suddenly stood up.

 

“I need a smoke.”

 

********

 

Mickey walked out of the room without looking back, passed in front of Yevgeny, ignoring him against his stronger will, and marched in the hallways, suffocating, filling with anger, until he reached the exit and shouted at the top of his lungs. A few people walking by jumped in fear, but the black-haired man couldn't care less. He punched the nearest wall, hurting himself more than the concrete-covered bricks.

 

“Shit!!!”

 

He looked at his bloody knuckles, enthralled by the hot liquid spreading on his skin.

 

“Mick.”

 

The soft voice of his husband brought tears to his eyes.

 

“I hurt my hand.” was all he could say.

 

Ian wrapped his hand around Mickey's wrist and inspected it.

 

“Good thing we're already in the ER, huh?” the redhead tried to laugh, but Mickey didn't react, raising his head, blue eyes meeting greens.

 

“We lost our son.”

 

Ian nodded one too many times, keeping his tears at bay.

 

“I know.”

 

The redhead took a deep breath, stretched his lips in a small smile, and then added:

 

“But we're still gonna have a beautiful daughter, right? So let's just focus on that for now.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I am so, so sorry. And don't worry if you cried, you're not alone. The writer cried, the characters cried, everybody cried. And I feel so bad for choosing that turn of events, but I don't think I could have done it any other way.


	6. The birth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quite a lot of fluff for this long (3500 words, yay!) last chapter, but not only.
> 
> I'm sorry in advance if any of you wear the names suggested and made fun of during the "Bowl" part.
> 
> Also **warning** : explicit mentions of the dead body of Baby Boy.

 

Ian grabbed forcefully the bottle Mickey was nursing and threw it in the trash.

 

“The fuck?” the black-haired man shouted.

 

“Come with me.” Ian said, calmly, presenting his hand for Mickey to take.

 

The other man grunted but obeyed, rising to his feet and following his husband out of the house and into the car.

 

“Where we going?”

 

“You'll see.”

 

Ian kept his eyes straight on the road, and Mickey didn't ask any more question, leaning against the window and looking at the city moving around them. The redhead finally parked the car in front of a rundown looking gym, and exited the vehicle, nodding slightly his head to ask Mickey to follow him. The brunet grunted some more, but still followed his husband as they entered the building by a side door.

 

“I rented the place for two hours.” Ian explained, lighting the room they were in to show old gym equipment.

 

He walked to a bench and grabbed boxing gloves that he handed to Mickey, who looked at them suspiciously but ultimately put them on. Ian then led this husband to an old sand bag hanging from the ceiling.

 

“Punch it.” the redhead ordered.

 

“Why?” Mickey finally asked, keeping his hands to his sides.

 

“Because you're angry.” Ian explained. “You've been angry for two weeks now and I'm tired of it. You just drink your sorrow away and you're not even a part of this family anymore! We need you, Yev, Kira, and even our unborn baby girl, we all need you. I need you. I need my husband back, my best friend, my lover, I fucking need you! So now you're gonna punch this bag, or you're gonna punch me, either way you're gonna punch something until your anger wears out!”

 

Mickey dropped his head, looking down at the dirty floor.

 

“I'm not gonna punch you.”

 

“Good, I was hoping you'd say that.” Ian sighed. “But you better punch this bag. We're not leaving until you do.”

 

The redhead went to sit on the bench and waited. Mickey was just staring ahead of him, not moving an inch. After five minutes of complete silence and stillness, Ian spoke again.

 

“I did it too you know. Punching this bag. After we came back from the hospital two weeks ago. I needed to get my pain out on something, and you punching the wall had gave me the idea. So I found this place online, and hit this bag until I couldn't stand anymore.”

 

“Did it help?” Mickey asked, his voice low and weak.

 

“It didn't solve everything.” Ian shrugged. “But I felt better.”

 

The black-haired man looked at the bag for another good five minutes. He had been an angry teenager, and Ian knew it, growing up Mickey Milkovich was punching everything and everyone he could get his hands on, it was the only way he knew to channel his permanent rage toward life. He didn't think he would ever need it anymore, but maybe Ian was right, Mickey had been loosing himself in alcohol lately, and ignoring his family, he was being teenage Mickey again, so maybe expressing his anger with his fists was the answer. He gave the bag a weak first blow. The object didn't move. So Mickey punched it a little harder. And again, harder, and harder, until he was hitting the bag with all he had, bringing out all of the pent up feelings he had accumulated during these past couple of months. He punched, and he punched, until his face was drowning in tears, and his legs were too weak to carry him anymore. He collapsed on the floor, crying and panting, and Ian was here to hug him tightly.

 

“I'm sorry.” Mickey breathed between sobs.

 

“It's okay.” Ian murmured in his ear. “It's okay.”

 

********

 

“Okay family,” Ian declared on an early Sunday morning just after breakfast, putting a large bowl in the middle of the table and giving every member of the family a sheet of paper and a pen. “We all gonna write two names on two pieces of paper, put them in this bowl, and the one picked out will be the baby's name. Okay? Let's do this!”

 

The C section was planned in a week, and Mickey and him had been trying to find a good name for this baby girl for weeks now and they could never find anything remotely satisfying, or even agree on a name. And that morning, Ian had woken up with this great idea, plus it would make Kira and Yevgeny participate, which could only do good, they needed to reunite their family after all that had happened during this pregnancy.

 

“Alright,” the redhead said as he picked his first piece of paper out of the bowl and unfolded it. “Elena. That's pretty good. What do you think team?”

 

Mickey, Kira and Yev all nodded in sync. Perfect. Elena. The more Ian tried the name on his tongue, the more he liked it. _Elena._ Elena Milkovich-Gallagher – yes, they had, at least, decided to go with this combination of last names.

 

“Great.” Ian added, still with the same cheerful tone. “Let's choose a middle name now.”

 

He picked a second paper out of the bowl.

 

“Elena? Again?”

 

The redhead turned to his husband.

 

“Mick?”

 

“What?” Mickey exclaimed, raising his hands defensively. “I like the name, and you never said we were supposed to write two different names, not my fault if you picked mine twice!”

 

Ian sighed and threw the paper on the table, before burying his hand in the bowl once more.

 

“Whatever. We're not gonna name her Elena Elena. So, let's see what else we got... Charlie.”

 

“That's mine.” Kira smiled.

 

“Elena Charlie.” Ian tried. “I like it. Mick?”

 

“Yeah, sounds good.” the black-haired man shrugged. “I don't really care beyond Elena anyway.”

 

“Okay then,” Ian said with a little chuckle. “Let's pick a last one.”

 

Mickey raised an eyebrow.

 

“Three names?”

 

“What? Kira has three names.”

 

“She does?”

 

The teenager nodded.

 

“Yeah,” she explained. “Kira Elizabeth – that's my grandma, Mom's mother – Fiona.”

 

“Fiona?” Mickey asked with another raised eyebrow directed at his husband.

 

“Riley gave her mom's name, I gave mine. Sort of. I wasn't going to honor Monica!”

 

The trio agreed upon Ian's choice, and the redhead picked another name out of the bowl.

 

“Andreevna?”

 

They all turned to Yevgeny.

 

“Aye, I don't wanna be the only one with a weird Russian name!” the teenage supplied.

 

Kira sighed, Ian shook his head, and Mickey laughed.

 

“Andreevna? Elena Charlie Andreevna?”

 

“Why not?” Yevgeny shrugged.

 

“What else did you put in there?”

 

“Praskoviya.” the kid said with an almost perfect accent.

 

Mickey executed his best _'What the fuck?'_ face.

 

“Why didn't you go for, I don't know, Anastasia, or Natasha or just _anything else_?”

 

“I said _weird_ Russian name.”

 

“Yevgeny isn't that weird.” Kira stated with a smile.

 

“Andreevna?” Ian repeated again, as if in shock. “Elena Charlie _Andreevna_?”

 

“What about Andreja?” Mickey suggested with a tentative voice. “It's Ukrainian. I think I had a great-grandmother or a great-aunt or something who had this name.”

 

Ian slapped his hands together.

 

“Yes! That's great! Sorry Yev. But we did get inspired by your idea, so thanks for that.”

 

“It's okay.” the teenage boy shrugged. “Andreja is cool. Plus it's not like we're going use her middle names in our every day life.”

 

Elena Charlie Andreja Milkovich-Gallagher. Ian smiled as he threw the rest of the papers in the trash and put the bowl back in the cupboard. Those were good names.

 

“What names did you put in there?” Mickey asked as their kids went back to their respective bedrooms.

 

Ian shrugged.

 

“It's not really important.”

 

Mickey smirked and opened the lid of the trash can.

 

“Seriously Mick? You're gonna go through the trash for that?”

 

The black-haired man held his hand above the can.

 

“I will do it.”

 

“Okay.” Ian sighed. “I wrote Anna and Elsa.”

 

Mickey's smirk grew bigger.

 

“You watched Frozen too many times man, this movie brainwashed you.”

 

“What? They are pretty names, and separately nobody would notice!”

 

********

 

“You know what we should do?” Ian asked as he trailed kisses along his husband's jawline and neck that night. “Enjoy these last few nights before Svetlana's due date to have as much sex as we can before our lives become a ballet of diapers, late night feeding, and constant screaming, and we're too tired to even raise a finger, and much less fuck.”

 

Mickey's mouth found Ian's for a passionate kiss.

 

“I think that's a pretty good plan.” the black-haired man whispered against his husband's lips, before grabbing him by the hips and turning them over so he was straddling his waist.

 

Ian kissed his husband one more time, before reaching the bedside table to grab their beloved bottle of lube. He coated his fingers with the liquid, and went back to kissing Mickey again while his hand moved to the brunet's ass, and his first digit entered his hole. Mickey moaned and raised his hips to give Ian a better access. The redhead moved his finger a few times, and then added a second one, scissoring them. Mickey moaned again, louder this time. Ian was about to add a third finger, but Mickey stopped his hand.

  
“I'm good. I'm good.”

  
Ian nodded, crooked his fingers one last time, before taking them off. He kissed Mickey again, hungry. The black-haired man reciprocated, before pulling away and meeting Ian's hooded eyes. He reached underneath him to tug on Ian's dick a couple of times before guiding it to his hole. He slowly, so slowly, sat back on Ian's laps, feeling his cock filling him inch by inch. Ian was a sweaty, panting mess, long before Mickey was fully seated. The redhead raised his knees, planting his feet on the mattress to give himself some leverage. Mickey braced his hands on Ian's chest and lifted his body up, before dropping back down, meeting Ian with every thrust. They repeated the movements again, and again, going faster every time, gasping, breathing in each other's mouth. They couldn't even kiss anymore, it was just open mouth against open mouth, their air and moans melting together. Ian was holding Mickey's hips so tight, it would certainly leave marks, but the black haired man couldn't bring himself to care, not when he could feel his husband inside him, pounding at his prostate, when under his hands the muscles in Ian's torso were tensing with every movement they made together. When one of Ian's hands left Mickey's hips it was to fist his cock and jerk it quickly. At the feeling, Mickey dropped his head against Ian's shoulder, and all it took was a couple of hard quick pumps before he came all over Ian's stomach. The redhead abandoned Mickey's now soft member, and wrapped his arms around the black haired man's body. He crushed their lips together in a bruising kiss, and Mickey gripped his shoulders and the back of his neck to hold him closer, kissing him back with as much intensity, if not more. Ian moaned into his mouth, and shuddered through his orgasm, before they slowly, slowly parted. The redhead fell back onto the bed. Mickey gently eased Ian out of himself and stood up, walking into the bathroom to come back only seconds later with a wet cloth. They cleaned themselves up and lied under the covers, cuddling against each other. They had been married for six years, and been together for nine, but every time they had sex it still felt like the first time, they couldn't get enough of each other, and probably, hopefully, never would, but that was just how they liked it.

 

Ian slid an arm around Mickey, and snuggled his face in his neck, dropping a little kiss there.

 

“I love you.”

 

“I love you too.” Mickey replied, grabbing his husband's hand, and bringing it to his face to drop a small kiss on the back of it.

 

********

 

The birth was scheduled on a Friday. Svetlana was eight months and almost two weeks pregnant, but, considering the circumstances, the doctor had planned a C-section slightly before term. It was already a common procedure with multiple pregnancies, but in their case it was almost a question of life and death, they couldn't allow themselves to wait for a natural birth to happen, it would have been too risky for both Svetlana and the baby.

 

Twenty minutes into the procedure, and Ian was fidgeting, his foot hitting the floor repeatedly, and his hands shaking on his laps. Both he and Mickey had taken the day off from work, and Kira and Yevgeny were supposed to join them at the hospital in the evening, Fiona had promised she would drive them here after dinner. Mickey gripped his husband's hand and squeezed it.

 

“It was only supposed to take fifteen minutes. Why are we still waiting?” the redhead asked.

 

They were alone in Svetlana's single room, while the woman was in the block. She would have to stay in the hospital for three to four days to recover from the surgery, but the fathers could take their baby home right away. If everything went fine.

 

“Twenty-two minutes.” Ian stated as he looked down at his watch.

 

“It's gonna be okay.” Mickey said calmly.

 

And at that exact moment, the door of the room opened and a nurse came in, caring a small bundle of fabric. Ian jumped from his seat, Mickey only a second behind.

 

“Everything okay?”

 

“Yes,” the nurse smiled. “Everything went fine. The doctors are stitching up the mother right now, and I'm bringing you the calmest little girl I've ever seen.”

 

The redhead cooed, and took the few steps separating him from the nurse.

 

“Can I?” he asked, hesitantly.

 

“Of course.” the woman smiled. “It's your daughter.”

 

“Our daughter.” Ian repeated. “Oh my god.”

 

He wrapped his still shaking hands around the little package and held his daughter for the first time. A single tear rolled on his cheek.

 

“She's so beautiful.”

 

The redhead turned to his husband, holding Elena tight against his chest. Mickey was still standing near the chair he had been sitting on.

 

“Mick?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“You okay?”

 

“We have a daughter.”

 

“I know. You wanna see her?”

 

Mickey took a deep breath and nodded slowly. Ian smiled and walked to him. The black-haired man didn't touch the baby right away, he first took the time to observe her. She was so small, with such pale, wrinkled skin. Her tiny hands with too long nails were slightly clenching and unclenching, never going all the way. She had barely any hair, but those already there were a pale shade of orange – of fucking course she had red hair! And her big eyes were open, looking at Mickey intently.

 

“It's like she has no eye color.” the black-haired man noticed.

 

“It's normal.” the nurse explained. “Newborn babies, especially with such fair-skin as yours, have very little melanin in their eyes. It's not rare that babies are born with some sort of grayish-colored eyes. The exterior light will stimulate her iris, and her real eye color will appear in six to nine months.”

 

Mickey nodded, and went back to look at his baby girl, touching her little hand with the tip of his finger.

 

“She is really beautiful.”

 

********

 

The nurse came back about twenty minutes later, while Mickey was cuddling little Elena and being an overall Papa Bear.

 

“The mother is fine.” the nurse announced. “We will bring her back in the room in a few minutes.”

 

Ian nodded, before he asked the question that had been on the tip of his tongue since Elena had been brought to them.

 

“What about... the other baby? Can we see him?”

 

“Yes.” the nurse nodded. “Of course you can. I'm sorry I didn't suggested it earlier.”

 

“It's okay.” Ian smiled. “Mick? You wanna see him?”

 

Mickey kept his eyes on Elena and shook his head.

 

“No.”

 

“You're sure? You're not going to regret it?”

 

Mickey took a few seconds, before he answered.

 

“No. I don't want to.”

 

Ian dropped a small kiss on his husband's forehead.

 

“Okay.”

 

The redhead followed the nurse into another room. A small, cold, silent room. The baby had been laid on a white sheet on a metal table.

 

“He has been cleaned.” the nurse informed Ian. “You can spend as much time as you want with him, dress him, take his picture, measure him, whatever you need. And then I'll send you someone to discuss your options.”

 

“My options?” Ian repeated, not tearing his eyes from the small baby.

 

“Yes. The hospital works closely with a funeral home who provides cremation services or a coffin and burial for stillborn babies, free of charge.”

 

Ian nodded. He hadn't thought about that, at all, but they, indeed, needed to plan some sort of funeral. A baby bassinet and a coffin, those were the two objects they should have brought. He smiled shyly to the nurse, and she left, closing the door behind her. Ian walked to the table. The baby was about half the size of Elena, his body was scrawny and gray, and his eyes closed. The redhead almost laughed at the idea that his baby kinda looked like Gollum. It wasn't funny at all, but it was so unexpected that his mind went there at this very moment, that laughing seemed like the only option. He caressed the baby's arm delicately.

 

“Hi baby. I'm sorry your other dad isn't here, but I understand he didn't want to see you like this. … We didn't even pick a name for you, how terrible is that? But I like James. You would have been a nice James. … Your sister is healthy and adorable, and we'll take great care of her, I promise. … We'll tell her about you, one day, when she will be old enough to understand. But in the meantime, if we don't talk about you, it doesn't mean we have forgotten you. It's just that we need to focus on life, keep loving the livings. … You're beautiful too… I wish I could have taught you to ride a bike, or throw a ball, but I guess it wasn't meant to be. … _Wasn't meant to be_ … Never thought I would believe that kind of crap one day. Life is complicated kid, always has been, always will be, and sometimes horrible stuff happen. I'm sorry one of those happen to you, and to us. But you'll always have a piece of our heart, I promise.”

 

********

 

_Six months later..._

 

Ian closed the door of his classroom, and walked through the hallways, until he reached his office. He opened the door to find Mickey already there, a baby carrier strapped onto his front, and lunch already sprawled out on Ian's desk.

 

“Oh, my hubby and my baby!” the redhead cooed, dropping his teacher briefcase near his chair and detaching the little girl from the carrier. “What are you wearing?” he asked, seeing the giant bow covering half of Elena's tiny head.

 

“That's all Mandy.” Mickey shrugged, taking the carrier off his chest.

 

“How is she?” Ian asked, making weird faces at his daughter.

 

“She's okay, still recovering from her break-up with Brooke.”

 

“I thought she was with Svetlana.”

 

“Yeah, me too. I don't really understand their relationship. Anyway, she's getting over it, and starting a new clothing line, only baby stuff.”

 

“Oh, that explains the bow. And the tutu.”

 

Ian sat on his chair, keeping Elena on his lap, and saw his husband dropping his head shyly.

 

“The tutu was me.” Mickey confessed.

 

“You kidding me Mick? You dressed our daughter in pink tights, a pink tutu, a pink T-shirt, a pink jacket and a huge pink bow?! She looks like an over-gendered doll! And I wouldn't be surprised she wears a pink onesie too...”

 

Ian raised his eyebrows at his husband, and Mickey smiled.

 

“And a pink diaper.”

 

“What?!”

 

“I found this new brand that makes pink diapers with princesses and unicorns on it. I thought it was cute!”

 

“Oh Ellie,” Ian sighed, looking into his daughter's big eyes. “What are we gonna do with him?”

 

Mickey gave his husband the finger, and the redhead was fast to cover the baby's eyes, making a fake outraged face. A second later, the door of the office was flying open, and Kira and Yevgeny came storming in, dropping their bags messily on the floor. Yevgeny went straight for the food on the table, and Kira went straight for her little sister.

 

“Hello Ellie. How you doing my baby?” the teenager said with her best baby voice, taking the excited little girl in her arms. “Hey guys, I think her eyes are blue. They've been looking this way for a while now, and I think it could be their definitive color.”

 

The two fathers leaned over Kira's shoulder to look for themselves.

 

“Yeah.” Mickey approved. “I think we have a little redhead with big blue eyes.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's be honest, I think I'm in love with baby Ellie.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave kudos and/or comments. And you can also send me prompts here, or on my [tumblr](http://ilostmylifeonline.tumblr.com/), and I'll write them... sooner or later. ;)


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